Half-Present

It's been a bit of an uncomfortable week back so far, but I am hoping that little by little things will start to feel better. Due to some family circumstances back home in Seattle, it's been tough to be fully present to the work here in Mexico, because I'm wishing that I could be back home to support my loved ones in this difficult time. I'll be back in May, which I am sure will come before I know it, but for now it's just rough. I'm thankful for the technologies of email and Skype, though. At least I have that!

It's also felt a bit odd coming back to the Volunteer House and start anew with a bunch of new volunteers. It can feel like a roller coaster getting really close to volunteers for a couple of months, and then they leave, and I have to find new friends. So I'm starting to re-think my boundaries and consider trying to cultivate and focus more on friendships with locals in the area that will be around for awhile, just so that I am not going through a continual cycle of intimacy followed by bereavement and then loneliness repeating again and again.

I am coming to the realization that as wonderful and as much of a blessing it is to be here in San Miguel de Allende meeting all sorts of people from around the world, it's still a sacrifice to be here. Especially now that I am far away from family and wish to be with them, I feel it.

It's definitely an interesting season to be in right now... I've got a bit of a case of the 'slogging-throughs.' I'm sure it'll be okay soon. Until then, I'm doing my level best to put one foot in front of the other.