Sudden Departure

"So you're back from Mexico."

"Yep, I'm back back."

"Weren't you going to be there a long time?"

[pause]

"I had hoped to but..."

"But God said no."

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It was very sad to leave Mexico but it wasn't necessarily a difficult decision. Multiple trials hitting at the same time made it such that continuing to live in San Miguel de Allende simply was not an option. All I could do was pack my bags and count down the minutes until I could make my way back to Seattle.

The few weeks leading to my departure I was weeping, sobbing, each day. I hadn't considered leaving Mexico even an option, but once I received permission from God to go, I cried out of relief and the rest happened very quickly.

I really thought that being in Mexico was my calling from God... but learned somewhat painfully that God had something else in mind for me. "It is time to live into your calling," He said, and with a broken but willing heart I've returned to Seattle to do just that.

Following God isn't necessarily glamorous. It includes failures and disappointments. I watched things I'd hoped for crumble to pieces and all I could do was cry. Sometimes the correction of God can be really painful.

I have good days and bad days. I still cry and wonder where God will take me, or if he's taking me anywhere at all. I get tears in my eyes when people ask me if I'm working or what I'm doing to get a job. I just don't have an answer for them.

One thing I know for sure: God is doing a complete work in me. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:4-5). And for that I can be thankful.

I'll continue to share my reflections every once and awhile on my regular blog: http://aprilmidoriyee.blogspot.com. Thank you for following me on this journey.

Back in the PNW

"You are going to wake up and think to yourself, 'I'm in Mexico'--but you won't be anymore."

-Miguel, director of Hogar de los Angeles, on returning home after volunteering

I've been back in Federal Way since Sunday.. Wow. My last week in Mexico seriously whipped on by. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I have this delusional thought that tomorrow I will magically wake up in San Miguel, walk north two blocks down 28 de abril norte, duck through the entrance of the daycare in the early-morning cold and see the smiling faces of the teachers, moms and children. But there is a time for everything, and the time for me to be in Seattle is now.

I think I'm getting better at saying goodbyes. I mean, it's certainly sad because I wish I could have stayed longer. I wish I could have had more time with my favorite kids, playing and laughing at their antics, chatting and reading them stories. I wish I could have had more afternoons talking with Marisol while the kids slept, sprawled out with their shoes tossed hither tither around the perimeter of the mattresses. I wish I could have gone to worship service this Sunday instead of getting airsick in a jet. But the best thing is that God is going to continue doing marvelous things in San Miguel--the only bummer is that I won't be there to witness them. :) He's got Hogar de los Angeles, Gente con Proposito, all the people that I met down there--in his hands. So it wasn't that bad receiving my last hugs from Beto and Yoselin, and saying bye to Marisol.

My favorite goodbye was our last full day in San Miguel, which was Saturday. I asked my parents if we could go to the orphanage to see Fernando, Angel and Erik. It was so nice to see them! Fernando was still in isolation, but he came out to see me and we sung a few songs.. Got to push Erik around on a tricycle and he adorably pointed out and introduced to me all his older friends. Angel, as usual, went #2 in his pants and had to go get changed, but as soon as he was clean again was smiley as ever, spinning on the merry-go-round with the other boys.

As we were walking away down the dirt road I heard Ángel’s little voice cry out, “¡Abril!” I turned around and through the chain link fence I could see him on the playground, standing on the big toy, waving at me. “¡Adios!” he cried, waving to me. “Adios, Ángel,” I replied, smiling. “¡Abril!” he yelled again. “¡Adios!” It was such a happy goodbye and the image of him waving and smiling will stay in my memory forever.

What a special time, being in Mexico for 10 weeks. What more can I say? It was awesome.

Where to next?? :)